I jolted back, my head banging painfully against the hard wall.
The door rolled open, stone grinding hard against stone. Shadows danced as a man stepped into view, a lightorb in his hand. Darkness filled the space beyond the circle of light.
He was tiny, with a back stooped so low it was a wonder that he could walk at all. Tattered, dirty clothes enveloped him, nearly drowning him in the sea of material. A weathered, wrinkled face smiled a toothless grin as one eye gazed at me, the other white with blindness.
NOT FINISHED EITHER
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
About this story
Just felt like writing it...really no reason...
And I'm not trying to write well, that's why nothing's in paragraphs, every chapter is a fourth of a page long, and there are a bunch of notes scattered throughout the chapters.
So, enjoy, I guess.
It's supposed to have a surprising twist at the end, if I ever finish it...I hope I do. It would be nice.
Feel free to critique, it would be helpful...though half the time I just ignore the advice...
If you're thinking of just reading through the whole thing one day, I'd advise against it. I'm going back and editing each chapter one by one as I look back through them, and if I get any criticisms, I'll try to fix the mistakes they found, so each chapter will constantly be changing. Better to wait five years and read it again...well, just do as you please. I'm just writing this for the entertainment of my readers and me, so take the story as you like.
And I'm not trying to write well, that's why nothing's in paragraphs, every chapter is a fourth of a page long, and there are a bunch of notes scattered throughout the chapters.
So, enjoy, I guess.
It's supposed to have a surprising twist at the end, if I ever finish it...I hope I do. It would be nice.
Feel free to critique, it would be helpful...though half the time I just ignore the advice...
If you're thinking of just reading through the whole thing one day, I'd advise against it. I'm going back and editing each chapter one by one as I look back through them, and if I get any criticisms, I'll try to fix the mistakes they found, so each chapter will constantly be changing. Better to wait five years and read it again...well, just do as you please. I'm just writing this for the entertainment of my readers and me, so take the story as you like.
Chapter 3
I walked for a while before I had a sudden realization.
I could see.
My eyes, once caked with a heavy yellow substance, were clean. Maybe it all fell off during the fall, I thought to myself. But I wasn't so sure. The covering on my eyes had been there my whole life, and it being removed made me uncannily aware of my surroundings.
Aware enough to feel someone watching me.
I jerked around, my badly cropped hair swooshing in a long arc around my head. But there was no one there. I listened closely, my ears, hearing finely honed from years of almost no sight, craning for a sound, any sound, to assure me that I wasn't hallucinating. I heard none, so continued down the corridor warily, which began to look more high-tech the further I walked through it.
A minute later, I crossed the threshold of stone passage to bright white, gleaming with artificial lights and smelling strongly of household cleaning supplies, the good kind that only the project manager could afford. The tile floors were slippery, waxed until they shone, hurting my eyes more than even the relentless sun above ground had.
Blinded by the light, I didn't see the door until it was an inch from my nose. Small and functional, the circular door had a keypad embedded in it. I looked closer, my eyes coming level with a minuscule peephole in the exact center of the entrance. Odd place for a peephole {supposed to be italicized, but mobile blogger doesn't let me do that}, I thought. Curious, I drew near, and looked through.
And saw an eye staring back at me.
I could see.
My eyes, once caked with a heavy yellow substance, were clean. Maybe it all fell off during the fall, I thought to myself. But I wasn't so sure. The covering on my eyes had been there my whole life, and it being removed made me uncannily aware of my surroundings.
Aware enough to feel someone watching me.
I jerked around, my badly cropped hair swooshing in a long arc around my head. But there was no one there. I listened closely, my ears, hearing finely honed from years of almost no sight, craning for a sound, any sound, to assure me that I wasn't hallucinating. I heard none, so continued down the corridor warily, which began to look more high-tech the further I walked through it.
A minute later, I crossed the threshold of stone passage to bright white, gleaming with artificial lights and smelling strongly of household cleaning supplies, the good kind that only the project manager could afford. The tile floors were slippery, waxed until they shone, hurting my eyes more than even the relentless sun above ground had.
Blinded by the light, I didn't see the door until it was an inch from my nose. Small and functional, the circular door had a keypad embedded in it. I looked closer, my eyes coming level with a minuscule peephole in the exact center of the entrance. Odd place for a peephole {supposed to be italicized, but mobile blogger doesn't let me do that}, I thought. Curious, I drew near, and looked through.
And saw an eye staring back at me.
Chapter 2
I woke up on a net, suspended ten feet above an underground lake.
I shouldn't have been alive. No one should have been able to survive a fall of this length, even with a net. But the thoughts escaped me as I gazed in awe at my surroundings.
Shadows and light intermingled, creating a hypnotic mosaic on the stone walls, making it feel as though I had somehow fallen into the sea, instead of an old mine shaft. Clumps of algae seemed to be dancing in the uncertain light, as if enjoying the grand balls Mam used to tell me about, before she was taken away. A lord there, a duchess there, watched over by two extra large boulders, a king and queen peacefully watching the merry-making of their subjects. {TRANSITION WILL BE PLACED HERE} The rhythmic sound of water lapping against the smooth floor echoed around the cavern, a peaceful lullaby to a girl who had just barely escaped death.
I looked down at the net. Woven of the thick, strong plexiglass {i don't even really know what plexiglass is...can you make rope out of it?} cords used to lower workers into the mines, it made me wonder. How had it gotten here?
A rope ladder leading down from a slightly larger hole in the net allowed passage to a small gravel path, which led to a dark tunnel dug deep into the wall. I followed the path, hoping it might lead to answers.
I shouldn't have been alive. No one should have been able to survive a fall of this length, even with a net. But the thoughts escaped me as I gazed in awe at my surroundings.
Shadows and light intermingled, creating a hypnotic mosaic on the stone walls, making it feel as though I had somehow fallen into the sea, instead of an old mine shaft. Clumps of algae seemed to be dancing in the uncertain light, as if enjoying the grand balls Mam used to tell me about, before she was taken away. A lord there, a duchess there, watched over by two extra large boulders, a king and queen peacefully watching the merry-making of their subjects. {TRANSITION WILL BE PLACED HERE} The rhythmic sound of water lapping against the smooth floor echoed around the cavern, a peaceful lullaby to a girl who had just barely escaped death.
I looked down at the net. Woven of the thick, strong plexiglass {i don't even really know what plexiglass is...can you make rope out of it?} cords used to lower workers into the mines, it made me wonder. How had it gotten here?
A rope ladder leading down from a slightly larger hole in the net allowed passage to a small gravel path, which led to a dark tunnel dug deep into the wall. I followed the path, hoping it might lead to answers.
Chapter 1
My name's Alyssa Mayes, and my time's nearly up.
There's no time to get more, no time to work for any, no time to go and beg, because I don't have the money.
Nor the time.
But the human mind will do anything to survive, so the landscape is a blur beneath my speeding feet as I --- to the office, dry cracked land seeming to taunt me with its never ending reflected heat blazing through my covered eyes, leaving light trails blocking what little vision I have left.
But my eyes are already closing, gumming up with the thick residue of the tainted yellow air.
They're closing, and I'm in the middle of the mines.
They're closing, and I just reached Treacherous Ground.
They're closing, and now I'm falling.
And I had just turned seventeen yesterday!!
There's no time to get more, no time to work for any, no time to go and beg, because I don't have the money.
Nor the time.
But the human mind will do anything to survive, so the landscape is a blur beneath my speeding feet as I --- to the office, dry cracked land seeming to taunt me with its never ending reflected heat blazing through my covered eyes, leaving light trails blocking what little vision I have left.
But my eyes are already closing, gumming up with the thick residue of the tainted yellow air.
They're closing, and I'm in the middle of the mines.
They're closing, and I just reached Treacherous Ground.
They're closing, and now I'm falling.
And I had just turned seventeen yesterday!!
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